I Stopped Driving … Again!

About two years ago I started to feel uncomfortable and not in very good control of driving my van. I knew something had to be changed or I was not going to be safe on the road anymore. It started to scare me that I might cause an accident and hurt or even kill someone else or myself on the road.

It has been a difficult decision since I have been driving fully-modified vans since 1974 in Berkeley. I ordered my first van from a brochure at a medical equipment company in Minneapolis called Redi-Care. I did not know if I would be able to drive it or not and it was a tremendous leap of faith for us to order what was called a Med-Van. I was going to spend $13,000 on the vehicle I was not sure I would be able to drive!

In the winter of 1972 my father, my little brother, Rick and I went to Minneapolis to get tested at a driving school to see if I could drive a car. The instructor quickly found out I would not be able to drive a car, but with the right modifications I might be able to drive a van. That is when he gave me the address for Redi-Care. Fortunately, the owner of the company was in the store that Saturday morning and introduced me to my first van.

The first picture I want to show you is my current van of me driving two years ago. There are several more photographs of me driving and various parts of the van on my website.

Click on the image to make it larger:

There are many stories I would like to share and pictures to show of all six vans I have owned or leased; however, this post is not long enough to show them all! Suffice it to say, I have driven about 500,000 miles in six vehicles, three full-size vans and three minivans.

I want to show you another picture of me driving my first van in 1977 when my mom, dad, were on our way for me to speak at the athletic banquet in McLaughlin, South Dakota. It was a real honor for me to be asked to speak at their banquet since I only went to first and second grade in McLaughlin! Fourteen years later, I was asked to come back and address many people I had known from our three years in McLaughlin.

This picture shows my little brother, Chad watching me as I drove across the plains of Minnesota to drop him off at our uncle's farm so he could play with his cousin. I love the look of concentration on Chad's face! Of course, my mom took that picture!

When he was not standing behind me, he had two beanbag chairs to lounge on unrestricted in the back of the van. No child restraints for us in 1977. I am excited to tell you Chad is quite the entrepreneur and loving life in Southern California trying to get his patented Drum Wallet sold, among other adventures he is always pursuing. He and I are very much alike and communicate with cell phones, Facebook and keeping track of each other's activities.

The reason I wanted to put this post up is to show how my life has changed dramatically since my ability to drive has been lost. There have been a couple other times when I was unable to drive for extended periods of time. However, I eventually got my strength back and the stamina to drive several hundred miles at a time, speak for a day and drive home that night. Now, I need to take an attendant with me to do all of my personal cares and that can be a problem on occasion when I go for extended periods of time. I hope to make it back to Worthington in September for their annual Turkey Day celebration. It is always fun to be in Worthington during those couple of days.

I often get speaking engagements and book sales from people who constantly come up to me all day long. 

The reason I have not been posted since last November is I have not been able to sit up long enough during the day to work on putting up a good post. We tried something new today and after my acupuncture appointment this morning, my morning attendant laid me down and my evening attendant got me back up so I could write this post. So far, my sitting tolerance is good and I feel fine. Hopefully, I will do this more often and post on a more regular basis.

I want to close this post with one last picture of me riding as a passenger in my van.

As always, click on the photo to make it larger:

I know driving is a privilege and I was privileged enough to have driven for almost forty years. I have friends and relatives who have never been able to drive since their injury onset or their entire lives. I am not complaining about losing this privilege; I just want you to know how our lives change and how it can affect people around them. The loss of some independence is difficult for all of us to deal with. As we grow older and start to lose some of our faculties we may all come to the conclusion it is time to turn over our keys to someone else!

As always, I look forward to your comments.

Later,

Mike

Is Intelligent Conversation Dead?

I put a post up on my Facebook page the other day and I received several comments telling me they love to engage in intelligent conversation! One friend, Deborah Roberts posted, "I totally rock on a stimulating convo. I find it completely absorbing to find a conversationalist who keeps my interest piqued and my brain engaged. Talk with me about my favorite things and we could go for days. …"

Another person Shared my post and wrote, "But its so rare. We have gotten to the point that if we dont agree then we cant be friends. Its BS"

To which the person who Shared it, replied, "True Buck, plus it is harder all the time to find an intelligent conversationist."

I replied, "It's too bad you guys feel that way because I get into intelligent conversations all the time and they can last for hours! I met a friend on Facebook and one day we talked on FaceTime for six hours and the time flew by. The very next day we talked for four hours! We talk on FaceTime all the time. Whenever I talk to a friend from the past we can talk for hours and the time flies by! I'm convinced you get out of anything what you put into it. It's all about your attitude. I run into people all the time who want to talk to me and we can talk for 15, 20 minutes or longer before they have to go. I had this conversation with my acupuncturist last week, and he didn't want to leave. He had patients to go to, but he said, "It's you Mike, people are interested in what you have to say and they want to share what they have to say. You're willing to listen and its conversations like this that makes you fun to be around." It was spontaneous and I'll see him again on Monday and we won't want to end our conversation again. Just sayin'!"

The interesting thing about these two who were putting down my post was their grammar and spelling was terrible. I am sure they did not think of thing about what they were writing!

Here is my post:

Click on the image to make it larger:

My contention is that anyone will get back what he or she puts in to something. I can tell you story after story after story about how I get into live, telephone, Facebook, FaceTime and Skype conversations that can last for hours.

My first FaceTime intelligent conversation was with a woman I had never met, Laurie Thiboutot and I chatted for six hours the first day and had another intelligent conversation for four hours the second day. Her husband, Peter came by several times and introduced himself and got so enticed by all the time Laurie was having fun on FaceTime and all of the other activities she was doing with Facebook, he decided to join himself. Now, they are both on Facebook and I FaceTime with him as well! I have never met either one of them and we carry on great, intelligent conversations!

If you read my last post when I talked about my Uncle Bob and how he liked to tell stories you know whenever he would tell stories, I got a few of mine in as well.

I believe I got my storytelling abilities from both sides of my family. The Smith side came from Bob, his uncles and father, and I would have loved to have heard my maternal great-grandfather, William Young tell stories. Unfortunately, he died three years after I was born. There are some incredible stories from him my uncles have told me about how he used to tell living through and after the Great Depression.

Here is a photograph of him in his liquor store that was adjacent to his barbershop which had a back room and high-stakes poker games took place after hours and the windows were covered with black sheets so no one could see the games that involved high stakes as deeds to farms. Grandpa Young took home several of those deeds and gave one to each of his children. That is how my maternal grandmother, Erma got the farm Uncle Bob owns now!

Again, click on the image to make it larger:

My Patrick side of the family had great uncle Stanley. He used to tell me incredibly detailed stories about how he accumulated farms during the Great Depression and never admitted to it, but he was also a great beneficiary of the Great Depression because he knew how to play the system.

Here is a wonderful photograph of my paternal grandfather, Benjamin (far right) going from right to left in the lower row were my great-grandmother, Mabel, then my great-grandfather Thomas and lastly, Stanley. The back row from right to left are Hazel, Mabel, then Florence and Alice. The children are all in birth order.

 

This is a very large photograph. If you decide to enlarge it, be prepared to wait a while because of its size:

My grandfather, Ben was killed by lightning in 1942. He was only thirty-seven years old! My great Uncle Stanley used to tell me incredibly detailed stories. His goal was to live to be one hundred. He reached that goal and three weeks later passed away. He had reached his goal and it was if it was time for him to join the rest of his family.

I can only guess he got his storytelling abilities from his father, Charles! I wish I could have listened to stories my grandfather Ben would have had. I'm sure great-grandfather Tom would have been quite a storyteller in his day as well.

Like I said earlier, I get my storytelling abilities from both sides of my family. I have tried to carry on a tradition I love to tell. As many of you know, I tell stories that can last for quite some time; just like this blog post!

I look forward to your comments.

Later,

Mike

I Can Drive Again!

As some of you may or may not know, I had an accident in my van on April eleventh. I was going up the freeway following at a safe distance when I started to see the brake lights go on in cars in front of me. I started to slow down, and then all of a sudden the car in front of me came to an abrupt stop. I tried to stop to avoid hitting him, but my brakes just would not let me stop in time. So, I swerved off the freeway only to find a small car stopped who had run out of gas.
I could not stop and hit him squarely in the back. My airbags deployed and the front end of my van was destroyed. There was a light mist falling and I talked to the Minnesota State Trooper who asked me what happened. After I gave him my account of the accident, the paramedics were there and managed to get my chair unlocked and pulled me back away from the driver’s area.

I had a bad gash on my right knee from the hand control mechanism underneath the steering column. Needless to say, I did not feel it; but there was a nice sized pool of blood on the floor right below where my knee had been. They slid me out the driver side sliding door and left my wheelchair in the van when they took me to Hennepin County Medical Center (HCMC). It is the closest Level I Trauma Center to where I was on 35W. For those of you outside the Minneapolis-St. Paul area, yes, that is the same 35W Freeway where the bridge came down August 1, 2007. On a completely unrelated side note, my first post on this blog is titled, "When Bridges Fall" when I told about my day when the bridge fell. If you are interested, you can read that post by clicking here.


I spent a night in the hospital after getting my knee stitched up in the emergency room. It was a very ugly seventeen stitches since the wound went in all directions and all the way down to the patella. I got a charge out of one of the paramedics in the ambulance when he said; "I can see bone so it's a deep cut."

Whereupon, I responded, "That must be the patella then."

You should have seen the look on his face when I knew what bone he was talking about. He responded by saying, "Uh ... yeah, that is the patella."

After getting my van back from the body shop several weeks later, it still was not in good operating order, as the brakes did not work very well. I was having a hard time getting home that day from the body shop up the street I live on a little more than thirty blocks from my house.

I could not turn the wheel and get it past my apparently much larger abdomen. It seems I had gained a good amount of girth in those five weeks! I found out later the brackets that held my lock down on the wheelchair had shifted in the accident and caused me to sit closer to the steering wheel so I was unable to turn it.

The van sat in my parking lot until May twenty-first when my attendant and I took it to Rollx Vans so they could look at the special modifications and see if the van was indeed drivable.

Finally, after more than two months and $2500 more repairs, (the total repair costs were just under $18,000), Robert and I went out to Rollx Vans and got my van. After more than three months and being dependent on the independent haulers to get me to them from appointments, I am driving again. The brakes work great now! It took a brake booster, a few other parts and a new master cylinder, which needed to be sent from Detroit to Rollx, and then off to Idaho to be modified and back to Rollx, it finally arrived back at Rollx when they called me and told me they would be able to look at it on July fifteenth.

The service technician who called me, told me I could bring my van out at any time around the fifteenth. I told him you have had it since May twenty-first, and he was completely surprised! That did not sit very well with me!

Anyway, I got it back and drove it to my acupuncture appointment yesterday. It is now sitting right outside my window where it belongs, waiting for my next trip. Here is an old picture of me driving from about ten years ago: this picture is also in my book and on my website. Click on the image to make it larger:

I am very excited to have my van back and the degree of independence it affords me. For those of you that know me well, you know how important my independence is to me.

I was once told many years ago I would never drive. This is my sixth van and I have driven approximately one-half million miles!

I look forward to your comments.

Later,

Mike

The Book is here! The Book is here!

Okay, I know I told you I would only post about once a week, but I am busting at the seams to share my good news. 

I received my first paperback copies of I Still Believe in Tomorrow today and they are ready to ship! If you want your own book you can hold in your hand, you can order it from all the major booksellers, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc., but please order them from me because I get a bigger royalty.

For example: I only get about $3.00 if you order from Amazon! Let's just say, I get a little more if you order from me. Eventually, I'm going to set-up a unique website for the book complete with a page for comments, it's own blog and the ability to pay with PayPal and credit cards. Until that happens, please send your checks to:

Patrick Communications, Inc.

619 Lafayette Road North, #304

St. Paul, MN 55130-4444

The price is $14.95 per book plus $5.00 for shipping for up to ten books. I'll give you a quote on shipping if you want more. I'll send your books once your check clears.

I'm going to be moving in mid-August, and my new address will be:

Patrick Communications, Inc.

10100 Lyndale Avenue South, #104

Bloomington, MN 55420

Please contact me with any questions and/or concerns. By all means, please share this post and help me spread the word! FYI: I quote several of you and your comments to my previous blog posts.

A very heartfelt thank you in advance to everyone who buys "I Still Believe in Tomorrow."

Remember, it makes a great gift!

Later,

Mike

Doug Landis Is An Artist

Once again, my inspiration for my post came from a friend. I learned of an extraordinarily talented artist who found his passion by breaking his neck! This is a wonderful story of how a sibling challenge has helped a young man with a hidden talent, find it and make a career out of his new-found passion. Hmm, does that sound familiar?

Here is Doug Landis plying his trade:

It is the photo on his home page. You can see more of his art, purchase it and read his story by going to his website if you click here:

He broke his neck wrestling while in high school. My injury came in a football game. I know  many guys who broke their necks in that fifteen to twenty-four year age bracket. I tell all my audiences to measure their necks by putting their index fingers and thumbs around their necks. I ask them to touch their fingers, note where they touch, then, bring their hands around in front of them and look at how big their necks are. I tell the adults to look at a picture of their necks when they were teenagers, and I tell the younger students to look at pictures of their parents when they were teenagers. I get some interesting reactions from all age groups!

Eighty percent of all spinal cord injuries happen to young males between fifteen and twenty-four because the neck musculature is the last muscle mass of the body to develop.

When I got hurt, I had maybe a thirteen or fourteen inch neck. Now, it is about twenty inches all the way around. Part of that large neck comes from aging, but some of it comes from a disease I call secondhelpingitis!

You can see Doug has a large neck. I am guessing it is off the strength charts because as he states in the video on his site, he uses his neck to move the pencil. He only uses his teeth to hold the pencil.

His is a fascinating story. Of course, I believe everyone has a fascinating story. You ought to hear some of the stories I get after a speech, or at the end of a school day! I am often the last one to leave.

I look forward to your comments.

Later,

Mike

Jeff Farnam's Memorial Service

A date and time have been set for Jeff Farnam's Memorial Service. It is:

June 10th, 3:00 p.m. at the First Universalist Church

3400 Dupont Avenue South

Minneapolis, MN 

A catered celebration of Jeff's amazing life will follow at:

5:30 p.m. at the Minneapolis Photo Center

2400 North Second Street, Second Floor of the Northwind Lofts
Minneapolis, MN 55411

The Center is located four blocks north and two blocks east of West Broadway Avenue and Washington Avenue North, in the Hawthorne neighborhood, just north of the Minneapolis Warehouse District and on the western side of the Mississippi River from the Northeast Minneapolis Arts District. We have free parking available for our members and guests.

Kevin Kling will be the featured speaker and yours truly has been asked to be one of eight speakers who will give short, three to five minute speeches later in the ceremony.

This picture shows one of the patented set of front wheels Jeff had patented in the United States and Canada. Besides being an excellent photographer and pilot, he was also an inventor.

Check out these wheels. Click on the image to make it larger:

I look forward to seeing you at Jeff's Memorial Service.

As always, feel free to comment.

Later,

Mike

Great Quote I Needed

If you are a regular follower of my blog, you know I wrote about losing a good friend to cancer. If you want to read it, go to my April first post, and read what I wrote about my friend, Jeff Farnam. We lost Jeff on the eleventh about 6:30 that evening when he had been moved to hospice, asked several of his friends to come to his room and had all the life support systems turned off.

It has been a week now and I have had a hard time dealing with the fact we will never again sit in Calhoun Square and watch the scenery! Sit in on one of his photo sessions and watch him work, or meet at Lucia's or the BLB and share a meal and stories.

His service dog, Reggie, has been adopted by a good friend of Jeff's, and will have a loving family with a Standard Poodle as a constant playmate.

I have been asked to be one of eight speakers to eulogize him at his service, which has not been set yet since they are having a hard time coordinating all the pieces Jeff wanted for his memorial. I will let you know when it finally happens in case anyone wants to attend.

Jeff was a micro-manager and is still controlling many things even though his remains are sitting in a safe place until the day comes he will be put in his crypt.

He told a good friend he wanted the speakers to say no more than three hundred words. Well, there is no way he can control me and the length of my eulogy from where he is now; but if you know me, you know I cannot say anything in three hundred words! I plan to read my post from the first, but I will say a few words before that too! I This post is already over three hundred words!

I was inspired to finally write this by going through some old email and culling the files to clean the folders up a bit when I stumbled upon the first part of this quote and it was not credited to the author. 

A quick Google search revealed the first sentence was only part of the quote. The second sentence was the rest of Joel Kogel's quote. I like it: 

The worst thing in your life may contain seeds of the best. When you see crisis as an opportunity, your life becomes not easier, but more satisfying. 

 Joel Kogel

I can certainly relate to this quote to my life, especially the first sentence.

I look forward to your comments.

Later,

Mike

P.S. Four hundred fifty-seven words including this Post Script! What did I tell you? 

I Could Not Say, "Good Bye."

Yesterday was an extremely difficult one for me! I went to see a longtime friend who is an old quad like me. I knew full well it may be the last time I got to see him as they were transferring him from the hospital to a hospice center sometime this week.

Jeff Farnam broke his neck in 1963 when he fell out of a cherry picker while trimming trees as a part-time, student worker at the age of fourteen. I met him in 1975 or '76 at a National Paraplegic Foundation meeting and have been friends ever since. He had an old Mamiya camera on a small tripod sitting on a lapboard taking pictures of people at the meeting.

That sparked my interest in photography. I learned much of what I know about taking pictures from Jeff. A few years later we both moved to Uptown and lived just a few blocks apart. For many years, we would meet at  Lucia's, The Uptown Bar or Bryant Lake Bowl for brunch on Saturday or Sunday. Once he retired from the City of Minneapolis, we would meet during the week, share a meal and watch the women. We ALWAYS watched the women!

We would run into each other on the sidewalk or in the lobby of Calhoun Square, sit next to each other, facing opposite directions, carry on a perfectly normal conversation, and not look at each other. You guessed it, we were watching the women.

Once he mastered photography, and he was very good! In fact, he took the studio shot I have on my homepage of my website and the profile of this blog. He moved on to remote-controlled airplanes. He belonged to a club out in the southern suburbs and flew his planes every chance he got. He has some big planes with wingspans of five to six feet! Several of them hang from the ceiling in his dining room, living room and office.

Then it was on to the real thing! Here is his plane he flew for several years:

Click on the image to make it larger:

He always wanted to get me up in it, but I had no desire to leave the ground in that thing! I went out there once and got up close to it, saw how small everything was, and politely declined!

Standing on Jeff's right is his other passion, his constant companion, Reggie. Reggie and he were inseparable. He got Reggie for socialization reasons. Yes, that means meeting women. If we would be sitting someplace and Reggie was in his working harness or vest, people were supposed to leave him alone.

However, if you were, female, young and attractive, you could pet him till your arm fell off! Jeff had his standards. I have always contended, Learn the rules, then break some of them. Jeff is a master at that.

We had often spoken about making a movie about the two of us and called it Grumpy Old Gimps. I guess that will not happen now. He and I share that same dark, acerbic sense of humor that has gotten us through these many decades of living with a spinal cord injury.

When it came time to leave, I could not, I would not say, Good Bye. I simply said, Later. Just like I end all my blog posts.

Jeff replied, See ya later.

As always, I look forward to your comments.

Later,

Mike

Definition Of Disability

I was going through some comments on my Facebook Wall today and was introduced to the following video with a definition of disabled:



If your browser does not show the whole frame of the video, click here to see it.

Her first definition came from Webster's Thesaurus 1982. I have always tried to live despite my disability, rather than regards to it. I believe Aimee Mullins has that same attitude. There are so many comments I could make on this video, but I will refrain and let you tell me what you think.

I am happy to report Dictionary.com's version is better today. It just goes to show we are making some progress in the way society looks at people with disabilities.

My favorite quote of hers is, Our language affects our thinking. I believe those five small words speak volumes. My next favorite quote is, The human ability to adapt is our greatest asset.

Here is a comment from the hundreds of comments after the video. I particularly like the way the person emphasizes the word capabilities.

Thanks folks at TEDtalksDirector, & amp; of course a standing ovation to Ms Aimee. To hear her articulate her points is an inspiration in itself. She has a motivation beyond anything you read, in motivational books. I thought I had a tenacious disposition but Ms Aimee blows me away!
For all who believed in the human race — Ms Aimee is a fine example of the human spirit embracing adversities as an opportunities for us to learn ( "DANCE," she said — I love that verb!) about our own capabilities.

I look forward to your comments

Later,

Mike