Remember Me?

I used to write a blog post about once a week until mid-June. I abruptly stopped when I was stranded in my chair on two different nights by the company called Custom Care who failed to send an attendant by to put me in bed, which resulted in me being bedridden since my pressure sores were opened to a degree I could not sit up in my chair!

I ended up in an emergency room on June 19th and spent the next eight days in the hospital until I was able to find another home healthcare agency who would be more reliable in getting me personal-care attendants (PCA's). My doctor would not allow me to be released from the hospital until I had a care company who could supply my needs.

Little did I know when my social worker arranged for this company to do my cares that she was going to retire as soon as she closed out all of her cases! The new company president showed up making all kinds of promises that I knew he could not keep. My doctor released me that Saturday and I have been in bed ever since! My only trips out of my room were a once a month visit to the wound clinic to have my doctor check on the progress, order new supplies and send me home for another month of R&R in my bed!

On my last visit, the wounds are getting good enough so he allowed me to start sitting up a couple hours a day. The first few days I was experiencing a dramatic loss in strength and stamina. I am still weak and frustrated to not be able to be up in my chair for very long periods of time.

I have good people helping me now who are going the extra mile to take care of my increased needs.

I thoroughly enjoy watching the Minnesota Twins and their run for a playoff position! It has kept me going along with countless hours of watching television. My summer and now early fall is gone and I am hoping to be ready to start going to my Gopher basketball games in a few short weeks.

I am attaching a photograph taken on June 20th with my brothers, Rick and Chad when they came to visit me in the hospital in a break from our niece's wedding that day. I regret not being able to be there very much.

Click on the image to make it larger:

The bottom line is I am back to a degree! I am excited to get back to a degree of ability I had before this latest setback. I have much more to write on this subject of my summer vacation which lasted well into autumn; however, I need to lie down as my time is about up!

As always, I look forward to your comments.

Later,

Mike

Domestic Violence Is Never The Answer!

Domestic violence has been going on since men and women started cohabitating. That does not make it acceptable behavior. When one considers one out of every four women will experience some sort of domestic violence perpetrated on them by often times their own partner, that statistic boggles the mind!

The newly-releasd elevator videotape being shown ad nauseam on ESPN and other cable stations is indeed disgusting. Granted, we do not know what the couple was arguing about; however, we do know arguments should never be settled with one's fists!

The NFL and Baltimore Ravens were quick to act in suspending and even releasing Rice from his contract after watching the videotape of Ray Rice hitting his then-fiancée Janay Palmer. The couple was married a short time later.

Janay Rice has come out with a statement saying, in part, the incident was her fault. It should be noted the couple have known each other since they were teenagers. They only started dating after he got his first NFL contract. They also have a child together.

I just saw breaking news on ESPN that the NFL offices received the elevator videotape in April. The Commissioner, Roger Goodell, adamantly denies anyone in the NFL offices seeing this videotape before two days ago.

Terry O'Neill, the president for the National Organization for Women (NOW), has made this statement. "The NFL has lost its way. It doesn't have a Ray Rice problem; it has a violence against women problem. The only workable solution is for Roger Goodell to resign."

The interesting thing for me about this whole incident is how pieces of information are slowly trickling out as the TMZ video has hit the networks. What I find interesting is how angry the entire court of public opinion is towards Rice — and justifiably so. Eventually, he will be judged by a jury of his peers. That is, if it goes that far.

The thing is, this kind of violence towards women and girls happens all the time and often times goes unreported, or the woman or girl is made out to be the perpetrator instead of the victim. That is just wrong.

We hear excuses all the time about the victims were asking for it because of the provocative clothing they were wearing, suggestive speaking they were exhibiting and many other excuses to blame the victim.

According to this page on safehorizon.org, http://www.safehorizon.org/page/domestic-violence-statistics--facts-52.html: "Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults. Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men. Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence. Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner."

If you click on the Safe Horizon link above, it will take you to a page that is full of fascinating facts on the issue and how it relates to families, homelessness and a number of other consequences I did not know. I found the page incredibly helpful in helping me make this post.

In doing additional research, I found racial and ethnic groups are anywhere from one-third to one-half times more likely to be abused than are white women. There is also a dramatic socioeconomic factor at play in these numbers. In other words, poor women and girls of color and minority ethnic groups are more likely to be abused, and most of the time the abuse comes inside the home.

Another interesting point is women and girls are not the only victims of domestic violence as the statement from Safe Horizon's quote points out. Obviously, it is not as prevalent as women being abused, but it should be noted it also takes place. I am guessing here, but I would be willing to bet those cases are even less likely to be reported than when women are being assaulted.

The issue is not going to go away. It always amazes me how many events have a 24-hour news cycle and then it is dropped until the next time that type of event happens. It will be interesting for me to watch and see how this plays out over the next several months because, after all, we are talking about the NFL and everyone knows "Boys will be boys." (Know I say that with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek).

As always, I look forward to your comments.

Later,

Mike

Robin Williams Was Demanding

Artists can be very demanding in their requirements of the venue where they perform. Many well-known performers demand certain things be just right before they step on stage. Indeed, it is well known people like Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, the Rolling Stones, to name just a few require certain types of foods, bottled water, alcohol and other staples be just right whenever they perform.

Robin Williams had certain demands written into his contracts that not many people know about. The other day, I found this piece on my Facebook friend Amie from Plano, Texas page that reads like this:

A Little Known Robin Williams Story:

“Years ago I learned a very cool thing about Robin Williams, and I couldn’t watch a movie of his afterward without thinking of it. I never actually booked Robin Williams for an event, but I came close enough that his office sent over his rider.

For those outside of the entertainment industry, a rider lists out an artist’s specific personal and technical needs for hosting them for an event- anything from bottled water and their green room to sound and lighting requirements. You can learn a lot about a person from their rider. This is where rocks bands list their requirement for green M&Ms (which is actually a surprisingly smart thing to do).

This is also where a famous environmentalist requires a large gas-guzzling private jet to fly to the event city, but then requires an electric or hybrid car to take said environmentalist to the event venue when in view of the public.

When I got Robin Williams’ rider, I was very surprised by what I found. He actually had a requirement that for every single event or film he did, the company hiring him also had to hire a certain number of homeless people and put them to work.

I never watched a Robin Williams movie the same way after that. I’m sure that on his own time and with his own money, he was working with these people in need, but he’d also decided to use his clout as an entertainer to make sure that production companies and event planners also learned the value of giving people a chance to work their way back.

I wonder how many production companies continued the practice into their next non-Robin Williams project, as well as how many people got a chance at a job and the pride of earning an income, even temporarily, from his actions.

He was a great multiplier of his impact. Let’s hope that impact lives on without him. Thanks, Robin Williams- not just for laughs, but also for a cool example.”

Reposted with permission from brianlord.org

We have all heard of Robin Williams mental health issues and his dealing with depression these last few weeks since his death. We have also heard of many of the philanthropic things he did and how close he was to Christopher Reeve. They went way back to being classmates at Juilliard.

When we think of Robin Williams, we think of an unbelievable talent who made us laugh out loud because we never knew what was coming next. His improvisational skills will never be repeated.

I was fortunate to see him in concert twice. It was a nonstop, energy filled ninety-minute exhibition of sheer comic genius. From start to finish he was going one hundred miles an hour. We did not know what had been written and what he was improvising. He was a true talent in front of an audience. 

I wanted to post this piece to show you another side of a very complex individual. Can you imagine what some people had to go through to step out of their comfort zone and hire homeless people to work for their companies?

The thing is he has been doing extraordinary things for other people his entire life. I recorded The Late Show with David Letterman on August 18th to see Bruce Willis and what antics he was going to pull. I just watched it the other day and Letterman did a tribute to Robin Williams before he brought Bruce Willis out. You could see how difficult it was for David letterman attimes when talking about his good friend of roughly four decades.

Robin Williams appeared as a guest on Dave's shows fifty times! Letterman said the fun thing about having Robin Williams on as a guest was he (Letterman) knew he did not have to do anything that night. He would just introduce Robin Williams, and Williams would take it from there. Letterman would just sit back and watch a comic genius do his thing.

At one point, Letterman showed this picture and made humorous comments about how all of the starving comedians back in the early days were trying to do their routines and how awestruck they were when Robin Williams took the stage.

Richard Pryor was already well established and he came to the Comedy Store to hone his skills every once in a while. Mitzi Shore ran the club. David Letterman was a young comedian making his way and then there was Robin Williams doing the same thing.

David Letterman said Robin Williams was in the same boat as all the rest of those comedians at that stage of their careers trying to become better and get discovered. He made one comment something like, we all stunk and after watching Williams do his bit Letterman said we all felt even worse about ourselves because we were comparing ourselves to the improvisational comic genius of Robin Williams. The tribute was very fitting and touching. It was interesting as you could tell Dave was fighting off the tears by the end.

Click on this image to make it larger:

Hopefully, if anything good can come out of Robin Williams' suicide, it will be an increased awareness and action to properly address depression and mental health issues in our healthcare system.

R.I.P. funny man. 

As always, I look forward to your comments.

Later,

Mike

WITNESSED: The Killings at Kent State

I know I do not always get my post in on the correct day, but the story remains the same. I just watched this CNN special "WITNESSED: The Killings at Kent State" and it brought back a lot of memories. I am certain if you were anywhere near your teenage years or above in 1970 you remember the end of the 60s and the beginning of the 70s with the events at Kent State on May 4, 1970.

It is hard to believe it has already been more than forty-four years since the Ohio National Guard killed four Kent State students on Blanket Hill on the campus of Kent State University. It all started five days earlier when President Nixon announced his invasion of Cambodia and the ramping up of the Vietnam War.

Many people felt let down because Nixon had said he was going to de-escalate in Vietnam and Cambodia. Instead, he makes the announcement how he is going to escalate the war and bring in more American troops to advance on areas along the Vietnam and Cambodia borders. I like this chart he showed on a nationally televised presentation. It shows just how far we have come in forty-four years of television graphics and technology:

What happened when Nixon made that statement about advancing instead of de-escalating it made the divide we all ready had between the Vietnam supporters and the antiwar movement.

The students at Kent State University were just the tip of the iceberg of students all over the country who were outraged when Nixon called them "Bums" in an article in the New York Times shortly before the end of April. Students and antiwar supporters all over the country were outraged and incensed at that event. It was starting to throw fuel on the fire of the divide it was happening in the country.

There is always been a debate about whether or not an order was given to the Ohio National Guard to fire upon the students. According to the special, a recently enhanced recording shows the Guards were ordered to open fire on unarmed, innocent, fleeing students. Four students like dead and nine more were injured. One of those students was shot in the back and remains paralyzed to this day. O will get back to them later.

In an interesting epilogue on the video this statement occurs:

The 28 national guardsmen who fired their weapons signed a declaration of regret for the incidents of May 4th, 1970 …  but have never apologized for their actions.

I find it interesting how only sixty-seven rounds were fired and it has caused a debate to this day about how the event should have unfolded peacefully.

At no time in history has a branch of the United States military fired on innocent civilians with live ammunition.

The four students killed were Allison Krause, William Schroeder, was shot in the back; Sandy Schreuer, had been walking to class, and Michael Miller shown in this iconic, Pulitzer prize-winning photograph as Mary Ann Vecchio screamed for help over his dead body:

Click on the image to make it larger:

I remember watching Walter Cronkite tell us on the news that night about the terrible massacre on the Kent State campus in Kent, Ohio. I had never even heard of Kent, Ohio before. That shows you how naïve I was to my world outside of Worthington, Minnesota.

The thing that was so disturbing to me about Nixon ramping up the war and sending more troops in was he won election in 1968 telling us he was going to end the Vietnam War. He was lying to us way back then. He had no intention of stopping the war and withdrawing our troops.

As always, I look forward to your comments. I specially look forward to your comments if you will remember that time and how it affected your friends and family and especially you.

Later,

Mike

The Book is here! The Book is here!

Okay, I know I told you I would only post about once a week, but I am busting at the seams to share my good news. 

I received my first paperback copies of I Still Believe in Tomorrow today and they are ready to ship! If you want your own book you can hold in your hand, you can order it from all the major booksellers, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc., but please order them from me because I get a bigger royalty.

For example: I only get about $3.00 if you order from Amazon! Let's just say, I get a little more if you order from me. Eventually, I'm going to set-up a unique website for the book complete with a page for comments, it's own blog and the ability to pay with PayPal and credit cards. Until that happens, please send your checks to:

Patrick Communications, Inc.

619 Lafayette Road North, #304

St. Paul, MN 55130-4444

The price is $14.95 per book plus $5.00 for shipping for up to ten books. I'll give you a quote on shipping if you want more. I'll send your books once your check clears.

I'm going to be moving in mid-August, and my new address will be:

Patrick Communications, Inc.

10100 Lyndale Avenue South, #104

Bloomington, MN 55420

Please contact me with any questions and/or concerns. By all means, please share this post and help me spread the word! FYI: I quote several of you and your comments to my previous blog posts.

A very heartfelt thank you in advance to everyone who buys "I Still Believe in Tomorrow."

Remember, it makes a great gift!

Later,

Mike

DQ Girl

I started speaking to young people way back in 1975 when Martha Brown, a nursing school instructor at Abbott-Northwestern Hospital's now-defunct school of nursing, asked me to speak to her nursing students about living with a spinal cord injury. I spent three years going to that school once every three weeks to impart my wisdom about life in a wheelchair.

When I think about it now, I wonder what I thought I was doing being just twenty years old, and having only been disabled for four years! What did I know? How was I an expert? All I know is, it launched my speaking career.

That disability awareness presentation has evolved into a self-esteem presentation that challenges every one of my audience members to reach their potential and to recognize just what their capabilities are — no matter how old they are. We all have capabilities we don’t even know are there. We just have to find them!

Sometimes finding our strengths are easy, and other times we go through our whole life and never find them.

Everywhere I go, unbelievable things happen. Here is one of those stories.

One summer evening several years ago, I was in a Dairy Queen with a friend and his two boys getting a treat after one of the boy’s little league baseball game. We were waiting to receive our order when a young lady behind the counter handed me a receipt with a note on the back that read:

I’m getting help.
It’s working too. THANKS,
I think you saved my life.
from,

Then she wrote her name and the high school she attended. I looked up in amazement and she was standing behind the counter, smiling and shaking her head up and down! I couldn’t ask her what it was that made her feel that way because she was very busy, the restaurant was packed, and at just that time our ice cream came and my friends were leaving the counter to go eat. I shared the note’s contents outside the restaurant with my friend and have wondered about her ever since that night.

I did three presentations the day I visited her large suburban high school. In the first program there were approximately 150 kids. In the second, there were maybe 300 students. After lunch, I came back to the auditorium to find a 500 seat room overflowing with about 700 young people, many of whom had heard me once or even twice already that day. The aisles were full, the stage had steps all along the front and they were full; people lined the walls. The Fire Marshall would not have approved!

The school had more than 2,000 students so they let the teachers choose if they wanted to attend my program or not. The kids heard my program, went to their next class and asked their teacher if they could go hear me again. Word started spreading and before I knew it, the place was overflowing. It often happens that way; I have to prove myself in every school to a new group of young people.

This young lady was in one or more of those programs. Each program was different. I don’t know what it was I said she picked up on but it hit her in a way that made her write, “ … I think you saved my life.” Parents, teachers and all other adults don’t always know what young people hear, or for that matter, when they are even listening! That is why we need to think about the consequences of what we say and do. The things we say to our children are very important. They may not tell you it’s important, but it is.

We need to listen to them too. We as adults, as parents, as teachers need to validate their feelings. She needed to understand the problem wasn’t the issue; the issue was how to deal with the problem. I tell them it isn’t a matter of degree. It is a matter of doing the right thing.

It is a matter of learning a problem-solving process. Young people already have a process in order, but many times they don’t realize what they are capable of doing. We as adults, as parents, as teachers, need to help guide them, to be an integral part of their lives. You are very important to your children. They may not tell you how important you are, but deep down — they know, because “Kids are COOL!”

Note: A version of this originally appeared in a monthly newspaper entitled Family Times. It was a periodical for parents in the Twin Cities. I wrote a column for them in the mid-nineties entitled Kids are COOL!

Here's Another Myth To Think About

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you know my last post discussed the myths about school shooters. Today, I want to address another very important issue, one I've addressed earlier. And, that is the myths surrounding boys. As I stated in my December 29th post, young people need to feel connected to at least one adult.

I quoted Michael Resnick, PhD, the assistant director at the University of Minnesota's Adolescent Health Program when he stated, "Young people need to be connected to at least one caring, competent adult. The good news is, it doesn't necessarily have to be their mom or dad. But, it is essential for young people to feel a connection to a responsible adult."

Much has been written about the "lost boys" of today, and it should be! Millions of boys are in trouble and need help. Mentoring programs like The Rising Son are helping boys become men. The myth I want to address is we are losing the battle. That simply isn't true! I'm sure you'll agree with me after reading this article from time.com entitled The Myth About Boys.

The article originally appeared in the August 6th edition of TIME magazine. David Von Drehle writes an excellent piece about the good and the bad news of the situation. It's well worth your read. Two quotes shouted out to me from Margaret Anderson, a pediatric nurse in Nashville, a member of the faculty at Vanderbilt University and the staff nurse at a camp for boys called Falling Creek Camp in the mountains of Western North Carolina.

As Von Drehle writes, Anderson told him, "Whether it's urban kids who can't go outside because it's too dangerous or the over-scheduled, over-parented kids at the other end of the spectrum — I'm worried that boys have lost the chance to play and to explore," Our society takes a dim view of idle time and casts a skeptical eye on free play — play driven by a boy's curiosity rather than the league schedule or the folks at Nintendo. But listen to Anderson as she lists the virtues of letting boys run themselves occasionally.

"When no one's looming over them, they begin making choices of their own," she says. "They discover consequences and learn to take responsibility for themselves and their emotions. They start learning self-discipline, self-confidence, team building. If we don't let kids work through their own problems, we get a generation of whiners."

I believe that's why mentoring is so important to boys. When boys get stuck or simply need someone to talk to, they can talk to a mentor. Are you someone a young boy, or girl, can talk to? If you are, GREAT! How so? If not, why?

I'd like to know your answers. Please feel free to leave your comments. Thanks.

Later,

Mike